| Written by Thingfish,
on 04-07-2005 00:40
|
If there’s one thing more tedious than Bob Geldof
banging on about Africa, it’s the sneer of
jaded hacks taking lazy pot-shots at a political pop-star.Ever since
George Harrison played for
Bangladesh,
celebrities have only needed to mention the third world and a hundred
glib cynics with no alternatives of their own to offer hit the
keyboards, screaming, “you’re just trying to sell more records, you
hypocrite!” But who are the true hypocrites here? Why is it that celebrities are
the only people in the free world condemned for holiding opinions? And why should a singer’s
opinion be any less valuable than a politician’s?
Self-righteous hacks
The problem is that most of these maligned stars espouse ideals that
their critics long ago abandoned, if indeed they ever had any in the
first place. The average hack columnist has two great motivators in
life: An ego the size of Siberia, and a rapacious bank account. They build their lives around
the philosophy that if they have ulterior motives, then so too must everyone
else. Besides, calling a pop star a hypocrite can lend a column a sweet
sense of righteousness and a punchy headline. Tragically, they’ve been writing
the same old crap for decades now. It’s the same refrain whether the
target is Coldplay, who seem to be the world’s biggest-selling act this
month, Bono, who hardly needs promotional gimmicks, Bob Geldof, who
hasn’t sold a record in decades, Madonna, who’s trying boost a flagging
career, or Robbie Williams, who’ll do anything to break America. I
don’t claim to know the motives of Madonna, or Robbie Williams, or
Bono; and I honestly couldn’t care less what they are. I don't buy their records. I'm not interested in them. Yet whether
they’re at the top or the bottom of their careers, the whole lot of them are branded
with the same selfish motivation. It doesn’t seem to matter that, with
the exception of Geldof, most of these people will continue to sell CDs
by the truckload for years to come. They don’t need gimmicks like Live 8.
They're all apparently so desperate for sales, they'll spout any old
political flim-flam if it means pushing a couple more CDs.
But
whether their reasons are genuinely charitable or otherwise should not
matter. Because by keeping the world’s attention focussed on
the problems of the developing world, these people are each doing far
more
for the billions who struggle to survive each day than any
number of clapped out, bitter old hacks. Is it the money or isn’t it?
One of the strangest contradictions that’s appeared in pretty much
every anti-African aid rant recently has been the totting-up of
celebrity fortunes. To a cynic, the fact that many of the pop stars
supporting Live 8 are multi-millionaires is all
the proof you need of their hypocrisy. But does that make sense? If
they really do have the vast piles of cash ascribed to them, then money
may not be their prime goal any more. In truth, even Paul McCartney is
a minnow in the wealth pond. There are 691 billionaires on the Forbes
rich list. Not one of them is a pop star. Of Forbes’ Celebrity 100 rich list, the top ten contains no pop stars. Of its list of the richest
musicians,
eight of the top ten acts were no-shows at Live 8. But who said rich
people can’t have opinions? Bill Gates (who is not renowned for his
vocal talents) has given billions in charitable donations to Africa,
and he supported Live 8. Rupert Murdoch has never sold a record in his
life, and he gave the event his backing. And I don’t see many
newspapers sharpening their knives to attack those two. They’re allowed
to hold opinions precisely because they are not pop stars. Keep music
out of politics – until it suits you
When I hear some bar-room critic moaning that pop stars shouldn’t get
involved in politics, they mean “pop stars shouldn’t disagree with me.”
So American rednecks chant “shut up and sing” at the Dixie Chicks, but
cheer their approval for Charlie Daniels’ regular right-wing rants. Queen and Eric
Clapton campaign for the monarchy, and nobody threw rocks at them.
Metallica are unpopular
online because of their anti-MP3 stance, but no newspaper holds that
against them. Cliff Richard is a millionaire with political views, but
the media leave him alone. And the same right-wingers who call Bob
Geldof naïve or ill-informed for his opinions on poverty would agree
with his anti-euro stance.
But then, to quote a million drunk right-wingers, what do pop stars
know about politics?
Instead of moaning, the free world should be glad their pop stars have
the balls to speak out. Few Chinese entertainers dare to talk about
politics. In comparatively free Hong Kong, the only time most pop stars come
out to protest is to campaign against music piracy or triad management
tactics. Even then, the turnout was a little Spartan. I’m not
suggesting the world follow the Philippines and elect every retired pop
star to government, but surely the willingness of celebs to challenge the
government is a sign of society’s health, not its weakness. If it’s a
sick society the cynics are looking for, maybe they should be asking
why newspapers are always so keen to give more coverage to pop stars
than to elected politicians. If the media chooses to give someone a
platform for his beliefs, then you can hardly blame him for taking
advantage of it. Sound byte politics
People complain that Geldof indulges in sound byte politics, and
they’re absolutely right – he knows that if he swears at an issue
enough, the media will carry his quotes. “Give us your fucking money”
may have sounded like crass and deliberate
boorishness, but the media latched onto it with such enthusiasm, it’s
become one of the most effective and well-known lines ever uttered. Though his
critics like to portray him as an apologist for African dictators, by
his outspokenness Geldof has alienated himself from most African
leaders. He hardly ingratiated himself to Robert Mugabe by describing
him as “a tired, vicious, old cretinous creep” or to Ugandan
president Yoweri Museveni by telling him to resign. It would be naïve to assume that because a singer speaks in sound
bytes, that they can know nothing about their platform. On the
contrary, the average semi-retired pop star has far more time and money to spend
studying their pet issues than the rest of us. Should a pop star know
less about a subject than a busy politician? I don’t see why. It’s
true
that singers often come out with embarrassingly trite political
opinions - what else can you expect from Snoop Dogg or Velvet Revolver?
But that does not mean the issues are any less important, nor
that all pop stars must therefore be idiots. Easy to be hard
When the first Band Aid happened, I was too cynical to pay it much
attention. I loathed the single, with its cheese-grating keyboard
harmony, and hated Michael Jackson’s follow-up even more. A year later,
charity reached a new nadir in smarminess with SportAid. I’d been up
all night drinking in London and was not a happy chappie that
day. I remember having a mid-morning gin before heading home, in a
spectacularly foul mood. I walked through West London toward Victoria
station and found myself surrounded by hordes of shiny happy people
wearing “I ran the world” t-shirts. I hated every last one of them;
even more so when I had to share my train with a bunch of
burger-munching student saviours. The irony of feeding the world in the
morning and picking up a Big Mac Meal on the way home had apparently
not occurred to anyone in that carriage. I’m still a cynic. When Live 8 announced their
text-message ticket lottery, I entered, with no plans to go. I
horrified some workmates by promising that if I won, my tickets be on
eBay within the hour. I didn’t win, so I didn’t have to suffer the
frustration of having my sale yanked by the outraged Saint Bob. Live 8
and Make Poverty History are fashion statements for many of their white-banded supporters. Tens of
thousands of people attending the Live 8 concerts will have done so not
because they care about poverty, but because they
think Robbie Williams is lush. I’m no different – I stayed home on
Saturday just to watch the historic reformation of one of the world’s
greatest rock bands. And I know that half of these pop stars are probably not up there for
altruistic reasons. It’s hard not to feel queasy when Mariah Carey or
George Michael get teary-eyed and philanthropic. But they are up there, and
their presence will cause some people to think for a minute. Something
to be smug about
What must be endlessly frustrating to the cynics is the fact that the
movement to drop the debt has been succeeding in sometimes surprising ways.
It's easy for people to get irritated by Bono: He is a smug git
and he wears stupid sunglasses. But it's hardly surprising. Pop
stars do not tend to get where they are today by being modest. Deep
down, we’d all love to be rock
stars, with the fame, the girls, the drugs and the adoration - and we'd
all be as egotistical as Bono. But he has an extra reason to be smug: He
gets to
meet presidents and they listen to him. To the fury of the envious
media hordes, Bob and Bono have the influence it takes to get private
time with world leaders. Bush
and Blair may also have their own shallow motives for hanging out with these
scruffy pop music types, but again, motives are irrelevant here. What
is important is that the depredations of the third world are kept on
the global agenda. Without star-backed organisations like Live Aid, Make Poverty
History, G8 Reboot, and DATA, it’s likely that nobody would be doing anything
about Africa. Geldof sat on the UK government’s Commission for Africa,
and its report will be presented by Tony Blair to the G8 this week, to the United
Nations in September and the World Trade Organization in Hong Kong in
December. By the end of the G8, it seems inevitable that the assembled
leaders will announce a massive debt cancellation, as well as
initiatives on climate change and trade liberalisation.
And for all the sniping about the failures of Live Aid, even the
reformation of Pink Floyd could not compare with the moment when Bob
Geldof introduced Birhan Woldu to the Live 8 audience. The last time
the world saw Ms Woldu, she was a starving child on the point of death.
On Saturday, she was beautiful, ecstatic and very much alive. I don't
want to sound corny, but it was an unforgetably moving sight.
Africa suffers from a world of seemingly intractable problems. Perhaps
the continent is so deeply damaged that there can never be a solution
to suffering. But the continent is broken, and it will not recover
without the help of the rest of the world. And anyone who makes an
effort to keep the issue in the public eye, whatever their motives, is
surely more virtuous and more deserved of respect than the millions of
cynics who can do no better than to stand back and sneer. Quote this article on your site
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